Culture Shock and Reverse Culture Shock

We've been back in the United States for 12 days now and a question that I've been asked frequently is, "How does it feel to be back?" Well here goes...
1. In the last 12 days, no one has told me that my kids aren't wearing enough clothes.
2. In the last 12 days, I've heard church bells ringing.
3. In the last 12 days, I've not been followed by a wild dog.
4. In the the 12 days, I've easily gone to the store without it feeling like work (because of translation).
5. In the last 12 days, I've figured out how to pump gas again (there is only full service in Turkey).
6. In the last 12 days, driving a car has been a relatively relaxing event.
7. In the last 12 days, I've worshipped with my church family without having been wanded down for weapons.
8. In the last 12 days, I've been in a well insulated, warm house, with wall to wall carpeting.
9. In the last 12 days, I've not worried once about Eli getting hit by a car.
10. In the last 12 days, I've understood every single word that has been spoken to me.

That's not to say that things seem "normal." Having been outside for 2 years I now view the United States through different lenses. For example: (**DISCLAIMER** Most of our time has been spent in small town Missouri thus far. Therefore some of the examples of culture shock could also be experienced by U.S. city-dwellers entering a small town)

1. Super Wal-Mart is overwhelming to me. I am astounded at the aisles and aisles of pre-packaged, unhealthy foods. I'm all about sweets now and then, but does there really need to be three center displays of Halloween sugar cookies with icing so freakishly bright it leaves your teeth looking like you just downed a bottle of food coloring? How about making the produce a focal point instead. Oh wait...that would require good-looking produce.

2. Some Americans go out in clothes that not even their closest friends should see them in. On our very first morning in the U.S. we headed over to the Kindergarten center where my mother is principle. Parked directly in front of the doors was a shirtless man in a souped up Jeep Cherokee. My guess is that he was in such a hurry to get his child to school that he didn't even have time to pull a t-shirt out of his drawer. I hope he's training his child to be just as classy.

3. Why is everything so BIG in America?? Sure, 32 oz. of soda in one sitting looks impressive, but I'm pretty sure it will shut down my organs one by one until there's nothing left of me. Escalades, Family-size bags of chips, and the selection of toothpastes are all things that have caught my eye in a shocking way.

4. I've also noticed a difference in waitstaff service. In many places here, slightly dishevled, over-casual waitresses/waiters will take your order and get noticeably annoyed if you ask too many questions. I have taken a liking to Turkish waitstaff who always wear dress pants and button ups and reply with things like, "Of course, sir." "I'll bring that immediately, sir." And, at times, if they've run out of something you order, an "errand boy" will be sent to a store or another restaurant to bring it to you.

These are just a few of my observations, and I'm sure there will be more to come as we embark on our Minnesota - Texas road trip in a week.