Re-Training A Child

I'm not going to lie...I'm getting a little bit nervous about heading to the States in just over a month. Why?  Well, maybe this conversation/scenario can help explain it a bit:

On Saturday night we were at a restaurant with a Russian/Vietnamese guy (father is Vietnamese, mother is Russian), an Iranian girl, and we were sitting next to 3 Afghani medical students. It was an Uzbek restaurant where you sit, lounge, and eat on the floor at a low table. Since we were on the floor Eli was climbing around the different tables and wandered over by the Afghani guys' table. One guy, admiring Eli, patted his head and began to ask him questions (in English) like, "What's your name," "How old are you," etc. Eli answered him back and was not uncomfortable at all.  The guy then seemed to feel a little nervous and said to us, "Are you Americans?" We answered affirmatively and then he said, "Someone told me that you better be careful in America. You better not touch the children or pat them on the head or talk to them." This then began a big conversation and the Afghanis, Russian/Vietnamese, and Iranian girl were surprised to hear that we agreed with that warning.

You see, in this country, and in many other Middle Eastern countries, it's perfectly normal for a stranger to talk, touch (innocently), and give things to a child. They delight in all children and freely admire them, even if they aren't their own. It's all very innocent (I'm sure there are some exceptions) and kidnapping is almost unheard of.

For example, Eli receives free toys, candy, food, etc. almost everywhere we go. If he gets ansy sitting in a restaurant the waiters often come and get him and walk him around the restaurant for entertainment. People often pick him up and kiss him on the cheeks. If he falls on the playground and someone else is closer than me, they will pick him up and begin giving comfort. While I was extremely uncomfortable with this when we first arrived here, I've become accustomed to it (please note, we are still cautious. We never let him leave our sight or stay alone with anyone). It's part of their culture. They aren't as separated as Americans. In a way, people look after other people even if they don't know each other.

And,while Eli is American, he is more Turkish in this way. He will talk to any adult. He is fine being the recipient of peoples' admiration (sometimes he gets annoyed with people pinching his cheeks, but he's definately not fearful of it).

And soon we'll be visiting the States where this is not normal. We'll have to keep a tighter grip on him. We'll have to keep a closer eye on him.  And we'll have to have a long talk about being careful around strangers.